First, let’s define two-party coaching. Every single one of our clients enters into a client-coach relationship. The client is one party. The coach is the second party. Because our system is based on personal accountability, the absolute best results come when the clients wants to improve their lives. The client hires us as a coach to walk alongside, examine life and their money and help develop a plan to move forward.
Here is an example of a third-party entering in to the coaching relationship. At least twice a month, we receive a phone call from somebody who is concerned for the welfare of a loved one. The loved one is heading down a trail that is not very wise. We get asked, “Can you help my brother, sister, uncle, child, cousin, friend……” The conversation usually continues, “We would be willing to pay for their coaching….” Please help them. There is usually a sense of desperation in the third party caller’s voice. Can you please help them?
Have you ever tried to loose a few pounds, quit smoking, change your attitude, start an exercise routine, or in some way change your habits for your own good? How hard is it for you to change you? How hard is it for you to change yourself when you are very motivated? Self-improvement is hard work.
However, for some odd reason we are tempted to think other people should be able to address their problems in the snap of a finger. And well, here’s a business that specializes in helping people make lifestyle transitions. It should be a lot easier right?
Here is the truth. We can only help people who are seeking help. The information we share is 2000 year old common-sense wisdom. It works for everybody who is willing to implement this wisdom in their lives. Proverbs 1:5 speaks of wise people seeking wise counsel. What we have found is that in order for somebody to appreciate the wisdom that we can share with them; they have to be seeking counsel personally for themselves. One of our guiding values is that we provide coaching services that enable people to win at life and money. We are committed to helping people become good stewards of the money they have to manage.
Principle #1 - “People do not value what they do not pay for out of their own pockets.”
Our lead coach spent well over a year doing volunteer coaching with another Christian organization. The coaching clients did not have to pay for services. In a year and a half, we do not know of a single one of those clients having a life changing experience. We see the same thing happen in FPU classes with people who receive a full scholarship for their $100 FPU kit. As a whole, that group of people never achieved the same levels of success as their peers who paid full rates for the FPU kits. Why? Because they had no skin in the game. People do not value what they do not pay for.
Principle #2 – “If you are not willing to personally pay for our advice with your own money, you will not be willing to put our advice into action. “
If you were to receive free tickets to an under water photography class would you go? Would you go get SCUBA certification, practice in 40 degree Michigan lakes where the visibility is about 2 feet so that you could take this under water photography class? No? Why not? Because you’re pretty happy not knowing how to take pictures underwater. Well the same is true for most people on a financial basis. Normal in our culture is broke and living paycheck to paycheck. Most people are comfortable sitting in their own financial mess. They do not want to change. There has to be an internal spark before we can come alongside and fuel the fire.
Principle #3 – “If you are going to own a solution, you must first own the problem.”
Our system is based upon the concept of personal accountability. One of the best books a person can read who is considering coaching is “The Question Behind the Question” by John G. Miller. (This is on our recommended reading list). The question behind the question is almost always, “what can I do to change this?” Personal accountability involves the ability to say, “I created this mess. It is my fault. I am going to own up to my part.” How many movies or stories have you watched where the victims was able to solve their problem by constantly blaming somebody else? It never happens — not even in the movies.
When our clients experience success with life and money, we are not the heroes. The clients are the heroes. Third party callers often come to us as if we are the heroes that can save their loved one from their own stupidity. Our job is to be educators and motivators. During practice, we will get on the field with you and teach you the fundamentals of the game. We’re there right beside you. Day in and day out for the length of our coaching contract. However, come Friday night when it’s time to suit up and get in the game. We are on the sidelines. We’re cheering for you. We’re going to send in play suggestions. However, at the end of the day, it’s the client’s choice to suit up and get in the game. The clients ultimately choose which plays they will execute.
Principle #4 - “The coach and the third party have limited resources. We need to invest our talents where they are most likely to provide a return on investment.”
Trying to help people who do not value our services and who will not follow through on our recommendations waste our time. There are plenty of good clients who want the help. For us to be good stewards of our time, we need to focus on helping the people who want help. For us to take money to “help” a client who is not ready to receive “help” would completely lack integrity on our behalf.
For these reasons, we do not sell gift certificates for coaching.
We do not accept payment of coaching fees from third parties.
There are numerous ways you can “help” somebody that is struggling with life issues that have financial impact.
The biggest benefit to this system is that you not only get to to help, you are protecting your relationship with the loved one. The coach becomes the accountability partner. The coach is the one who gets deeply involved in their financial lives. The coach is the one who has to challenge them. We have had clients where the in-laws almost destroyed their relationship with child’s spouse because the truth hurts. The clients really did need to shut down a part-time business that was loosing money every month. However, when the in-laws suggested the child should shut down the business, it did a lot of damage to the relationship
By following these principles and steps, we set up the third party to be a blessing.
Contact us. If you want to help a loved one but don’t know how. Then you are a good candidate for coaching. You have a clearly established goal. ”Helping your loved one without being a hinderance.” We’ll be glad to customize a coaching session tailored to your exact situation. We can discuss ways that empower your loved one without enabling them. In the event your loved one does hire us for coaching, we’ll apply your coaching fees to their coaching package.